Anyone reading this who meditates knows that meditation helps cultivate patience. But why is that the case? In my experience, meditation changes one’s relationship to time.
We typically view time as a linear idea. Our various plans are future points on the timeline, while previous experiences punctuate the immutable past. The past experiences cannot be changed; our tendency is to dwell on them and use them as information for future decisions. Meanwhile, all points in the future are theoretical; they are plans and intentions, always subject to change due either to shifting desires or shifting circumstances.
Our tendency is to cherry pick parts of the future we’re most excited for and try to expedite their arrival. All the popular talk about heightened productivity, smart work and ‘intention manifestation’ is related to this shared goal. It’s natural for us as “desiring machines” to wish to speed up the future, both individually and collectively. On a collective scale, the desire for ideological, social, technological and economic progress sends people into a frenzy. The future can never come fast enough. Job mobility, gadget advancements, progressive politics and corporate scale all rely on this assumption that the future is now, or that it should arrive sooner than expected.
But the future isn’t now— it’s later. That’s the whole point. Meditation reminds us of this. The present cannot be seen as some precursor to an abstract theory. The present is. And what we do now impacts what happens in the seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years after.
If we see the present as merely a vehicle towards an abstract future, we will remain forever unsatisfied and confused, both individually and collectively. But if we cultivate the sort of patience we develop in meditation, we can combine idealism with actionable awareness and make the most of the past, present, and future.
Lesson 1: The flow of time is fixed.
Time moves at the rate it moves, regardless of what we try to do to speed things up. Meditation reminds us this; 20 minutes is 20 minutes. You can’t ‘hack’ your way out of sitting. There’s no way to make 20 minutes feel like 5 minutes, or vice-versa.
Lesson 2: Each moment has a purpose, we just don’t always know what that purpose is.
The progress we make internally eventually reflects in our external lives. We see that each moment we meditate does indeed have a purpose, but we accept that we don’t have to pin down exactly what that purpose is. If we do that, we stop meditating and start actively thinking or brainstorming.
Lesson 3: Observing the flow of time and experiencing the purpose of each moment cultivates patience.
As we sit, we accept each moment for what it brings. Some moments bring anxiety, others bring peace. Some bring groundbreaking ideas, others bring odd distractions or fantasies. Whatever it is, we have no choice but to sit with it. There’s no way to force every idea to be great, or to prevent anxiety from cropping up. We just wait for whatever’s next.
Lesson 4: Cultivating patience in this controlled environment helps us trust the process.
When we sit in this way, we realize that there are times that the external forces of life will do all the work for us if we let them. Our mind moves on its own. Nature moves time along on its own. Our intervention does nothing to change these flows while we meditate; if anything, it hinders them. So we sit tight, simply watching everything that comes by without judgment.
This helps us trust the process. When we trust the process, we see life not as some game to be conquered as quickly as possible, but a complex and humbling experience that unfolds differently from moment to moment. We see that every distraction and mistake has a purpose, and, if we let it, guides us back to the path. But we can only understand this stuff if we’re open to it.
So— how does this impact daily life?
If we try too hard to ‘hack’ our lives, we become nervous wrecks. If a parent tries too hard to control their kin, they smother them. If a spouse tries too hard to win affection, they become insecure and selfish. If an entrepreneur tries to micro-manage every tiny detail, they fall down a wormhole of self-doubt. But if we trust the process and work with time rather than against it, we let things unfold at their natural pace. We find creative workarounds for problems that would otherwise overwhelm us.
When we become more observant and patient in this way, we also recognize new opportunities. Instead of jumping at the easiest thing or eating the low-hanging fruit, we know when to jump and when to wait. These decisions, some of them very crucial in the trajectory of our lives and careers, add up over time. When we can approach them with patience, awareness and intelligence, we can optimize our relationship with time while enjoying the present.