When people fight with one another, it usually leads to some sort of forfeiture or concession. One side has to give in, or the two sides have to come to some sort of agreement or understanding that was not present at the beginning of the confrontation.
But when we’re in conflict with ourselves, it can be far more difficult to come to a compromise. The ego usually doesn’t want to compromise, and it makes us feel weak and continue to persecute ourselves. We can learn from person-to-person conflicts how to deal with our own emotions. Instead of provoking yourself and allowing your ego to get the better of you. Instead of getting more and more worked up until you do something that hurts yourself, make a peace offering.
This requires mindfulness. It requires being in the midst of mental turmoil and suddenly stopping, reflecting, and saying, “Let’s cool down.” If you’ve gotten into a pattern of self loathing or self-scrutiny, this can be a remarkably challenging thing to do. It necessitates reprogramming the way you approach yourself.
Meditation helps people overcome anxiety and depression because it provides us with the inner tools we need to stop internalized conflict.
You can recognize when your thoughts are harming your sense of well-being, and change your thoughts. This requires self-discipline, and having compassion for yourself. Making peace with yourself will make peacemaking with others that much easier.