I’ve spent a lot of time in my life trying to figure out who I am, which is akin to scouring the globe searching for your glasses when they’re sitting right on your forehead. I’ve been me the whole time. You’ve been you the whole time.
Beneath the endless veneers and facades of taste, culture, class, appearance, and affect, each of us has a fundamental human essence. Everyone is unique. People don’t always look unique, and as soon as they begin trying to fit in they rarely ever act unique, but in essence we are unique, in the same way that no cloud or tree is ever exactly the same. We vary by degree.
We’re one way by default, and this doesn’t change— your core self is who you are. You might be saying, “Well, then I guess I should just give up!” In many cases, yes, you should. All of the fashions we try on, personalities we emulate, and successes we hope to achieve are just shrouds over who we really are.
Alan Watts said we should, “become who we are.” So, instead of focusing on what you think you’re supposed to be, look into yourself. Focus on your day to day activities. Love the people around you. Love yourself. Care for yourself. Stop beating yourself up over not living up to some sort of stupid ideal, and start living. We end up sacrificing the very happiness we’re trying to find just to find it! It’s absurd.
You can never lose yourself, so you might as well start finding yourself— within yourself.