Some of the strongest emotions we have are related to feelings of attachment. The people we love, the achievements we work hard for, and the material items we both need and want-- most of our motivation for working on these things comes from attachment to how they make us feel. Here's what we can learn from it.
You're in control
Zen monks are able to completely rid themselves of attachment because it's all in our heads. Unfortunately, any form of attachment breeds suffering. Strangely enough, it also tends to breed immense joy. The Buddhist ideal of the 'middle way' comes from finding a median between good and bad, suffering and pleasure, up and down. This is contentment. If you think intense ups and downs are for you, great. Most of the time, though, working on having more self-control over attachment will improve both our mindfulness and our genuine enjoyment of life.
Your thoughts are powerful.
People (myself included) have been critical of books like The Secret and The Law of Attraction for being unrealistic and pseudo-scientific. In many, ways they are. But, having read those books, there's an important lesson to be learned: our thoughts determine our lives. If we perceive life as good, it's good-- even if we live in a sewer somewhere. Strange concept, but it's true.
Don't take it to that extreme, obviously, but realize that your thoughts about attachment (and about good and bad) determine your worldview. Make sure your thoughts and your actions are in line; doing so will keep you true to your own values and you'll be less likely to get attached to something shallow and ephemeral.
Everyone deals with attachment.
Many times, someone I've been talking to has said, "Whoa, I thought I was the only person who thought that. I guess I'm not alone!" For some reason, we humans find a way of thinking that we're 100% unique, and that others couldn't possibly share our deep-seeded thoughts and opinions on things.
In reality, we're all pretty similar. Everyone gets attached, everyone falls in love, and most everyone would probably run around like crazy if bags of cash started falling from the sky. Feel comfort in knowing that to feel attachment is the human condition. Overcoming it is a very powerful thing and you should just take it one step at a time.
Mindfulness optimizes it.
Think about it: our ideas of good and bad control attachment. You meet a beautiful person you get along with; they become good. Goodness is a goal. You aspire to have a relationship with that person, not a mean person you find unattractive. If you're mindful of your attachment, you can optimize which emotions it leads to. Are you going to obsess over someone you're attached to or just enjoy their company and relax? One of the core concepts we can learn from Zen can be summed up in the classic saying: "If you love something, set it free."
