But, what's arguably more important than any of this is the fact that getting out a pen and paper and writing one of the lists outlined here (or maybe one you think of yourself) will help you out. There's something to be said for thinking about which things, ideas, places and people are meaningful to you, and keeping a record of all of them. Should you write a list after reading this post, you could save it for a year (or even 5) and see first-hand what's changed. Examining your ideas in such a way will help you get a better grasp of your 'true self', and also realize the ephemeral nature of the very idea of 'self'. So, here are 10 ideas for top-10 lists. In no particular order...
10 most fulfilling relationships
Think of all the people you've ever had in your life, whether they're with you today or exist only as distant memories. Explore what a relationship means to you and why you find some more fruitful than others. In making this list, you may gain some insight into why you've chosen to surround yourself with certain people and why others have fallen through the cracks. Ultimately, you'll get a better idea of what your true values are. If your current relationships reflect those core values, then great. If not, you've got plenty of time and 7 billion other people to choose from.
10 favorite albums and movies
If you're a music buff, go for albums or favorite artists. If you're a cinephile, list your favorite movies or directors. I happen to be both, so I made two lists. And, at the end, I realized I couldn't do it. I enjoy different genres and styles for different reasons that could never coincide with one another. To rate a favorite composer above or below a favorite rapper would be absurd; they're totally different artforms. Classic apples-and-oranges comparison. You might find you reach a similar conclusion, and if not, it's likely you'll discover something about how you view art and culture.
10 most life-changing books
This is a little easier than albums or movies, since books are (at least for me) not as hard to compare to one another. Instead of writing out this list, I reorganized my bookshelf. I went through and filled the top two shelves with all my all-time favorites and found some books I forgot about but which still had a huge impact in my life at some point. In making this list, you'll discover a common trait you enjoy that you can look for in other books. You'll also be inspired to read more, which is always a good thing.
10 qualities you strive to possess
It's pretty self-explanatory why you should do this; in theorizing about your ideal self, you're taking a big step in realizing that ideal. Knowing what to strive for is much easier than only having an vaguely abstract idea. As you write these thoughts down, you'll find your conception of the 'ideal self' becomes more and more concrete. The attainment of those qualities will feel more realistic, which should help inspire you to take action.
10 longest-lasting childhood memories
Don't let this one get you caught up too much in the past, but try to take a few minutes and think about some monumental childhood events that made you who you are right now. Young minds are more fertile. This is why childhood is such an important and impressionable time; think about yours and how it's led to your present-day thoughts and behavior.
And, if you're a parent yourself, think about the positive memories you want to pass on to your children and, if you're up for it, the negative ones you wish to protect them from.
10 places you feel a special connection to
Making this list might remind you to visit a place you love but haven't had the chance to return to, or to gain more respect for a place you're in every day and probably take for granted.
You may find that where you are right now is not really where you feel you should be. Or, you may realize how much you enjoy where you are right now, and you can appreciate it in a new light.
10 things you enjoy having
I'm no advocate for a materialistic attitude, but we can't deny the importance certain things have in our lives, especially in a modern world dominated by advertising and consumerism. While it's been repeated time and time again that money/things don't make us happy, contemplating the things we surround ourselves with and get attached to can be an enlightening exercise.
The ultimate goal is to keep the necessities and try to ease the superfluous things out. Like Thoreau said, "A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone." I recently made a big stack of all the valuable stuff I have but have stopped needing, and I'm in the process of shipping tons of old stuff out to people who've purchased it via eBay. It feels good, and my living space is waay cleaner.
"A cluttered desk is a cluttered mind", but an empty desk is also an empty mind. Find the necessities and stick with them. In having less and appreciating it more, you're increasing the value of what you've chosen to surround yourself with.
10 aspects of your life that you're grateful for
Simple as it may sound, we rarely step back from our own perspectives and look at what we really cherish about our lives. We all have problems, obviously, but the perceived importance of our problems inflates their presence in our day-to-day lives. Most problems seem far more important than they actually are. We get so caught up in minor complications that we take the major positive aspects of our lives for granted. Making this list will remind you of those positive aspects and help you prioritize.
10 activities that would, in your eyes,
improve you as a person
Just like we have experiences we take for granted, we have those we constantly dream about and envision. It might be a relationship or an adventure, or maybe a future-version of yourself that's more physically fit and/or nicotine-free. Listing what you could start doing right now to eventually realize the big goals is one of the most important steps in the process.
10 foods you need to buy next time you're at the store
This is only a half-joke. Don't get so caught up in all the big stuff that you forget to tend to the minutia of your daily life. The things you have to do today just to get by are very important, after all. But, at the same time, don't get so caught up in your daily routine that you forget about your larger goals and aspirations. It's easy to lose yourself in your work, so to speak, and forget your real values. My ultimate goal is to find an effective balance between short-term chores/deadlines and long-term goals.
